Is Your “Moderate Drinking” Making You the Best Version of Yourself?
We don’t need science to tell us alcohol isn’t good for us — we already know. Alcohol leaves us feeling foggy, sluggish, and more anxious. Our sleep is disrupted, our brain chemistry thrown off, and we wake up irritable instead of refreshed. The more we have, the worse we feel. We reach for Advil or hangover cures to recover from that extra glass we shouldn’t have had. No other beverage makes us search for remedies like this — and yet, we’ve convinced ourselves it’s normal.
So, it shouldn’t be surprising when the World Health Organization declares that “no level of alcohol consumption is safe,” or when the Surgeon General suggests cancer-warning labels on alcohol. Scientists are debating what “moderate drinking” really means and whether it’s safe at all. For now, the guidelines state one drink for women and two for men per day, but most drinkers well exceed these limits while still calling themselves “moderate” — a conundrum that warrants reflection.
So let the debate continue — it’s long overdue. But for now, it’s worth taking an honest look at what “moderate” drinking means for you, using the science — and your own common sense — as a guide: Is alcohol making you the best version of yourself?
From Sober Curious To No Desire to Drink
For me, honest reflection led to surprising revelations — and ultimately, a life without alcohol. The more I learned about the health and psychological impacts of alcohol, the less appealing it became, and I went from being sober-curious to quitting altogether. That was more than four years ago. In the end, it just wasn’t worth it — if it ever was. And while I can drink, I simply have no desire to — and that’s something I never thought I’d say.
For years, wine played a big role in my life — too big, at times. I wasn’t wrecking lives or hitting rock bottom, but wine wasn’t helping me be my best self. One glass often turned into three, and girls’ weekends meant even more. Thursdays blurred into weekends as wine became a way to unwind. I treated wine like a supportive friend, but in reality, it was a toxic relationship — robbing me of sleep, heightening my anxiety, fogging my mind, and stealing my productivity.
Yet I clung to the idea that wine was my stress reliever, my way to relax, my social reward. The disconnect between what I believed and what it was actually doing was impossible to ignore — and painfully real. Hello cognitive dissonance.
Alcohol Use Exists Along a Spectrum, Not in Black-and-White Labels
Our culture’s outdated, binary approach to alcohol is part of the problem. It implies that you either have a problem or you don’t — as if drinking is neatly divided into only two categories. I wasn’t an “alcoholic,” but I also wasn’t a one-glass-only kind of person. I was somewhere in between — a seeming no-man’s land. And here’s the thing: I know I’m not alone. A vast number of people live in this no-man’s land — a space the cultural narrative doesn’t acknowledge but where many of us quietly reside, feeling trapped.
This “no-man’s land” is where the real conversation about alcohol needs to happen. Alcohol use and abuse exists along a spectrum, which ranges from occasional drinkers who experience mild negative effects to those struggling with severe addiction. And this isn’t just about traditional addiction — it includes any level of drinking that negatively impacts health, mood, or well-being. Like many, I fell on that spectrum. Alcohol wasn’t destroying my life, but it was quietly stealing from it — eroding my sleep, increasing my anxiety, and draining my energy.
What I thought was “normal” was a slow drain on my well-being — one that I couldn’t fully see until I stepped back and reframed all my deeply engrained beliefs about alcohol.
Social Norms, Powerful Marketing Overshadow Risks
But why do so many of us cling to alcohol, even when we recognize its downsides? Decades of marketing and deeply ingrained social norms have convinced us that drinking is essential to relaxation, celebration, and connection. In society, “moderate drinking” is several cocktails at happy hour and splitting a bottle of wine (or two) over dinner. Marketing reinforces these myths, selling alcohol as fun, sophisticated, necessary — and even healthy under the guise of “drinking responsibly.” But the truth is starkly different.
Alcohol is the same ethyl alcohol found in gasoline. No surprise it harms your brain, liver, and heart. Even small amounts increase your risk of cancer and anxiety while disrupting sleep and brain function. These facts are widely researched and documented but are drowned out by a cultural narrative that celebrates drinking as essential to a vibrant life. The alcohol industry profits off our misconceptions, and society has normalized behavior that quietly harms us.
Cultural norms, social pressures, and personal experiences shape our drinking habits. These forces create beliefs grounded in untruths that drive unhealthy behaviors, but these beliefs can also be disrupted. And while genes and biology certainly play a role in alcohol use and abuse, they’re only part of the complex, multifaceted story — unique to each individual.
Research shows most people underestimate their drinking — or aren’t entirely honest about it. This disconnect between cultural norms and science fuels a silent crisis, where “moderate drinking” often hides harmful patterns. When I compared my habits to what health and psychological science defines as moderate, I realized how far off the mark I was.
A Shift Toward Wellness
We’re on the cusp of a cultural shift. Like smoking before it, alcohol is losing its shine as more people wake up to its harmful effects. Emerging research is dismantling the myths of moderation, empowering individuals to rethink their drinking habits. Millions are choosing an alcohol-free lifestyle — not because they have to, but because they want to, and are proving that a vibrant, fulfilling life doesn’t require alcohol.
Musician John Mayer, one of many who has given up drinking, pointed out how alcohol is glamorized and encouraged on Instagram, posing the question: What if I woke up every weekend and said, “Not hungover”! This shift could remind us that we have a choice — and that the risk/reward of alcohol may not be worth it.
Dr. Carina Ferreira-Borges of the World Health Organization underscores the need for awareness: “Rather than urging people to ‘drink responsibly,’ we should be raising public awareness of the range of harms associated with alcohol consumption.” Just as people are informed of the risks of smoking but may still choose to do it, individuals should approach drinking with an understanding of its real impact.
While alcohol remains a staple of society, millions are choosing to live alcohol-free, including me. By reframing and rethinking my beliefs, I went from being sober-curious to quitting drinking altogether. Ultimately, I didn’t want to wake up feeling even a little bit foggy. I wanted to be my best self, and I don’t miss drinking — not one bit.
I didn’t need to surrender or feel powerless. Quite to the contrary, awareness and knowledge empowered me to free myself from years of false beliefs that had shaped my habits and mindset. By reframing my beliefs, I found freedom — and restored my peace of mind.
The alcohol narrative is changing — from one of necessity to one of wellness. The question isn’t whether you can drink, but whether it’s truly serving you. Small changes can have a big impact, and if you decide to leave alcohol behind, you’re not alone. You’re at the forefront of a movement — one that prioritizes clarity, health, and your best self.
So, ask yourself: What is your idea of “moderate” drinking? Is it helping you live your best life?
